What Is Normal?

Last night, I was reading through some of my old journal entries (not blog entries, journal entries) and I came across one that I'd like to share with you guys! I can't recall exactly what was going on that day, or what inspired me to think about this topic, but I read it and thought it'd be an interesting topic of conversation.

(by the way, all of the images I post on here come from Here, or they are pictures I've taken myself. I will quote otherwise)

I won't edit it- for the case of authenticity. I wrote this on Tuesday, March 9, 2010:


What is normal? I don't even know the definition of "normal". Sometimes I think that "normal" is a trend, understanding, or way of thinking or lifestyle that the majority of people in a specific environment agree upon. There. My definition for *what the world defines as normal* is "A rend, way of thinking, or lifestyle that the majority of people in a specific environment agree upon". For me, this isn't my definition of normal. At least not all the time. I'm not quite sure what my definition is.

Now that I've established what I think other people define as "normal"- why do most people wish to be classified as "normal?" Including myself sometimes? One reason is that we as humans are continually searching for acceptance. We are social creatures and want people to think as we do. I feel like this is good & bad. It's comforting, relieving, and assuring to know that we think & feel the same things as someone else- because lets face it- we all need that one person in our lives that think, feel, & live the way we do. Amanda is my person at the moment (and has been for the last few years). She and I feel, think & live extremely similarly. Although we cheer for different football teams, work completely different jobs, eat different things, and live in separate states, we are both 23 years old and are exploring & learning. She and I get angry about almost all of the same things, happy about most of the same things, etc etc. She may not be "my person" forever, but I know she and I will always be friends :)

(I am skipping ahead here a little bit...)

For me (and my other fellow college graduates & soon-to-be graduates), the transition from college to "the real world" (another questionable phrase) is enormous. Very very huge. Gigantic. The escape, fantasy, protection, structured college life is over and we now have full range of who we want to be as individuals. (You can still be yourself & individual in college, but there is a definite change). Where we, as individuals, live, work, hang out with, be intimate with, marry, etc etc- there is no "structure", "fantasy", or "protection" from that. Everything we decide is completely up to us. From my observations (naive possibly), a lot or even the majority of people still want (or need) some type of protection. Some type of reassurance. Which is why, I think, most people *wish to be normal*.

Being a "normal" 23 year old in the Chicago area in 2010 typically falls within these realms:

1. A recent college graduate
2. Attending graduate school
3. Finishing college within the next few years
4. Working at a full-time, some-what decent paying job
5. Living close to by where we went to school, or where we grow up, or even still in the same house
6. Casually dating, seriously dating, or even getting married
7. Living on your own, paying bills, etc

That is what I see as "normal" for someone my age. Moreover, its what I feel is socially expected of me. With a few exceptions, I live a fairly "normal" life. Still live in (my hometown), work at a gym, pay bills, dating. But, what I'm wondering is, how many of these people are actually content in their normal life? I'm certainly not. My heart and soul crave different cultures, exploration, travel, and being uncomfortable. Yes, being uncomfortable. My firm belief is that I personally (along with maybe other people??) will not learn, explore, achieve, understand or *<3 grow as a person <3* if I am not pushed out of my comfort zone, don't dare to be different, don't open up to learning about as much as I can, then I will not grow. My spirit will be deprived of many facts, opinions, people, & ways of life. In this aspect, I don't know (either way) if I am "normal", because this isn't necessarily as socially expected of me as getting married and having babies is.

But maybe more people feel this way than I think. Maybe my life has been so unbelievably sheltered, black & white, and (sadly) somewhat discouraging by some people in my environment, that I didn't realize all of the individuals who felt this way too? Or will me being open & honest & myself help others learn these things too? Maybe I have been sucked into the expectations of being normal? And maybe my lack of confidence has made it more challenging for me to try to break out of the norm? Or maybe it came from my specific upbringing? Or maybe it's a combination of everything? Maybe I will find confidence in being more honest about my wishes, dreams, & thoughts with others (and myself). I get very embarrassed and fear judgement if I am dancing around a subject that I may not think "normally" of. I think that I want to be more "normal" than I thought I did. But what I want more is to break out of the norm and be honest & true to myself. If people think of me as "normal", that is perfectly fine with me. But with that said, I want to let my true colors out there with confidence, risking that some people may not agree or like me, but also having so much to gain in myself and my relationship with others.

*~What is normal to Holly. What I like, feel, & think about that some people might not consider normal~*

1. I don't like drinking very often. Most of the time, I'd prefer not to get drunk if everyone else is (although sometimes that's not true)
2. Bunnies are sooooo important & special to me. I have a true love for them.
3. I really value sleep. I rarely sacrifice getting a goodnights sleep for anything- maybe I should try it sometime and see what happens :)
4. I don't care about making a lot of money
5. I'd be perfectly happy if I worked at a coffee shop for the rest of my life
6. I despise politics. Especially talking about them
7. The people I envy most are not those with money or a powerful job- they are the people who sincerely love life and live it to the fullest. And who have taken the time to travel & explore and who might have to work 2 or 3 jobs at once.
8. Sometimes, I'd rather spend time journaling or being alone than hanging out with friends
9. I love people's flaws. I don't love them if they're haters, but I love crooked noses, uneven smiles, a non-chizzled body, etc. The flaws (if you want to call them that) are what make people stand out, unique, and special <3
10. I enjoy music- such as the spice girls, owl city, and the juno soundtrack just as much as gordon lightfoot, jim croche, and the garden state soundtrack.
11. As a personal trainer, I feel (and know) it is equally effective to use "fancy" exercises as it is to use "simple" exercises. And I prefer to use the simpler kind
12. I truly want to become a vegan & hard core animal activist one day
13. I'd love to live in any other country (with the exception of a good chunk- but still)
14. The 'Stargirl' series is one of my favorites. Although it is "normally" considered a book for teenagers.

I suppose there is a certain part of us, including myself, that will always want to be normal. Or at least feel the pressures of our society to be normal. But for me, I have so many underlying dreams, qualities, ways of thinking, that might not be considered normal. Maybe everyone feels like that too. Maybe we all have unconscious wants, needs, or goals that aren't normal, but we are too scared or ashamed to pursue them, or even talk about them? Maybe if we all loved a little bit more, opened our hearts & minds a little bit more, everyone would feel a little more of that "protection", and eventually be able to break their own mold of normality. Then maybe if enough people do this, there won't be a standard "normal" at all <3

When I'm writing in my journal, I tend to flow from one topic to the next. Re-reading this specific entry, I'm not sure if it flows very well, or even makes sense. I think it's an interesting thing to think & talk about, so I thought I'd step out of my comfort zone and share one of my many thoughts with you.


Thanks for reading :)


xoxo
<33holly